I have about a dozen wine bottles in a pretty, wrought iron, marble topped wine cabinet in my foyer. Half a dozen handcrafted wine stems sit inverted on top of it. Some of the bottles have been there for years and they are covered with dust. Some of the bottles are new. All of the bottles are suspended on their sides so that the tops of their capsules are the most visible parts of them. These remind me of several sets of eyes.
Sometimes, when I walk past this wine cabinet I imagine that the bottles are staring at me. Always, when I imagine this, I feel like they are silently glaring and accussing me of neglect. It’s not the dust. No, its the fact that I don’t visit often enough, and that I hardly ever take one of them out.
I realize this is a shocking revelation from the one who considers herself to be the Wine Guide.
Sigh. Perhaps I should explain.
It’s selfish really so please don’t be alarmed: I do love wine. I LOVE wine. I ADORE it. Sometimes I wish I could bathe in it, or BE wine, or build a waterbed filled with it to have hot, crazy sex upon. Seriously. This borderline insane fascination has lead to all sorts of drinking and dabbling, and I can proudly say that I am almost completely self taught. I know what almost every style, varietal, blend, and region tastes like because I have had them all in my mouth. I know what sorts of food to pair with all of these wines too, because I have specifically created dishes to work with individual wines, and the matches have been more than successful, they have been (at times) mind-blowing.
Here is my concern: I don’t want to put on weight. See? I TOLD you it was self-absorbed. Sadly, wine is shockingly calorie laden despite its pure and ethical origins and its well documented health benefits. But, I cannot even entirely blame the wine because if I could leave it at just one glass (which in my house is roughly one-third of the bottle) I would probably be fine. However, I deprive myself of things so thoroughly that when I finally ‘allow’ myself to have them, they disappear very quickly. After that first glass of wine is gone a second glass often seems like a good idea… and then a trip to inventory and enjoy the pantry contents is usually next. Before you know it the fridge and freezer are a little emptier too. I am sure you can see how opening a bottle of wine does not generally foreshadow a happy ending for me. It is tricky enough to navigate the hazards of wine enjoyment when I am on my own, but when I throw in a friend or two we are certain to fill the house with rich and delicious food and open multiple bottles before the day ends.
So if you are my friend, I am sorry that we don’t drink more wine together.
And, if you are one of my wine bottles… well… I promise that I have not forgotten about you and that you will indeed be taken out when the time is right. It might not be this year and it may not be next year either, but I promise to plan a special date for the two of us. If you’re really good I may even ask a friend or two to join us. But that’s only if you’re exceptionally excellent.
Now, stop staring at me!

